Look into the mirror, what do you see

I don't like to do self-reflection, because more often than not, i'll end up clueless and conclusionless.

For the past few months, our conversation has been revolving around the same old mind-boggling and bewildering topic, with me, inevitably becoming the one of the "main-character" involved. I don't denied that i was eager to dig up more information initially, because the whole thing is just like a drama storyline - totally unbelievable. But as time goes by, I just wanted to pull myself out, and resolve it once and for all.

My way of doing things are very straight and clear cut. I don't like grey areas. But i guess i have to be more sensitive and tactful in handling this. I still don't know what and how i'm going to trash it out, but i know eventually i'll have to do it, because it's not only bugging me, but also people around me.

I had hard time trying to sleep last night. Surprisingly, not because of what we've discussed ytd, but a xin jie i had all along. I think my brain is capturing all the not-important statements and non-verbal cues among the so many talkings going on, and translating themselves into meanings. This is why i don't like to think, because i don't want to entertain anymore 'maybe' and 'probably' or trying to decipher the underlying messages. Afterall, the things i wanted to know so badly are of no importance anymore.

Sometimes i feel that it's a wiser choice to follow your brain than to follow your heart.